How We turn our dogs and cats into picky eaters

and what to do about it

I would hear this in my stores nearly every single day: “I can’t get my dog to eat.” Or, “My cat is so picky.”

And almost every time, I knew exactly where the problem started.

Feeding Guidelines Create Anxiety

Most pet parents look at the feeding guidelines on the bag and assume that if their dog or cat doesn’t eat that exact amount, something is wrong. That creates stress right out of the gate.

Here’s the truth: those feeding guidelines are not rules.

They’re estimates. And they don’t take into account activity level, metabolism, treats, chews, or real life.

But once people believe their pet has to eat a certain amount, they start reacting emotionally when the bowl isn’t emptied.

Free Feeding Is the First Mistake

The most common mistake I see is free feeding. Leaving kibble out all day teaches dogs and cats that food is always available, which removes urgency and structure.

Dogs and cats thrive on routine. I strongly recommend two meals a day, served at consistent times. One meal a day is also fine for certain dogs. 

Put the food down. Set a timer for 10–15 minutes. And then walk away.

Which brings me to the next problem.

Stop Hovering at Mealtime

People hover. They watch. They stare. They wait.

The moment the dog or cat sniffs and walks away, the human panics. Your pets can sense your anxiety too. 

Out comes the parmesan cheese.

Then the emotional encouragement.

“Oh honey, you can eat. Please eat.”

And if that doesn’t work, something else gets added.

What’s actually happening here is simple: the dog is training the human, and the human doesn’t even realize it.

This is incredibly common with small breeds. Maltese are classic offenders.

Picky eaters are often the heaviest because pet parents overcompensate with treats, rotisserie chicken or unhealthy table scraps to get their pets to eat. Kind of an oximoron right? 

Tough Love Still Works

Our moms were right. Tough love goes a long way.

Put the food down.

Give it a set amount of time.

Pick it up if they don’t eat.

No treats in between meals. No bargaining. No add-ons.

Dogs are opportunistic eaters by nature. Instinctually, they want to eat when food is available because in the wild, they don’t know when the next meal is coming.

There’s a reason the phrase is feast or famine.

Intermittent Fasting Isn’t a Bad Thing

I’m a huge believer in intermittent fasting, not just for humans, but for dogs too.

Healthy adult dogs and cats can absolutely skip a meal. Cats can often go 12–18 hours without food. It gives the gut a rest, helps eliminate toxins, and resets appetite.

That said, you need to be careful with small-breed puppies and kittens. This is not a one-size-fits-all rule.

But for healthy adult pets, fasting is not dangerous. Feeding into pickiness is.

Use Your Indie Pet Store

One advantage of independent pet stores is access to samples. You can try different foods without committing to a full bag, which is not something big-box stores are great at.

But remember, variety doesn’t fix lack of structure.

A Personal (Slightly Embarrassing) Story

I’ll be honest. I had this issue in my own house.

Layla has been picky since day one. She was thin, ribby, and had protruding hip bones when I adopted her. And in addition, cycled through bouts of soft stool. This was frustrating and worrisome for sure so trust me, I get it.

And yet, I didn’t have the right structure in place.

I realized I had let the prisoners run the prison.

Here’s what I changed.

I started putting Bo and Greyson in a down-stay at the entrance of my kitchen. I have an open-concept space, and normally they’d be under my feet while I prepped meals.

Now, all three meals get prepped first. Then I put Layla’s bowl down and say, “Layla Eat.”

Only after that do I release the boys. And I make them wait, increasing the time each day.

What happened?

Layla walked over and ate everything!

This has happened consistently for a full week and is still continuing. Not once. Not a fluke.

Structure Changes Everything

What changed wasn’t the food. It was control and structure.

Mealtime matters. Who eats first matters. Waiting matters. It teaches self-control and confidence.

Picky eating is rarely about the food. It’s about psychology, routine, and boundaries.

And once you fix those, most “picky” pets suddenly aren’t so picky anymore.